I just got a package last night from my mom and I love her sosososo much. Last week was a really tough never ending week. She sent me the best package that literally made everything better and is going to make this week the best. One thing she wrote in her note to me was,

“I love you and never want anyone to hurt you or make you feel pain; however, I know it is not always possible to control every situation. Just remember—no one—no matter how handsome or smart or whatever-should ever hurt you or make you feel less than you are unless you allow it. When someone says hurtful and demeaning things, it is a glimpse into their own chracter—not yours! There are many things in life we are notable to control, but we can control the way we react to each situation.”

This is the perfect thing that I need to hear. I can't allow someone to make me feel bad like that. Obviously I feel bad because I let things get to me- who wouldn’t? I don't know what went wrong but thank goodness I'm over it now because I hate that feeling! Mom is right though. I can’t control the situation! I always think that I can and it never works out. I get scared a lot of the times and then just freak out, but she's right I can control how I react. I certainly could have reacted better various times, but I was mad at the time and just lashed out. Actually, I hate when people make me feel bad about myself and say derogatory things to me so yeah I feel like whatever happened on my side was at least a little justified, but I wish none of it even happened in the first place. Ari gave me a great tip last night to just type out whatever things I want to say and whatever my first reaction is and then put it away and don’t send it and instead think about something nice to say or don't say anything at all. People like that I just need to drop. I've learned from so many experiences especially my senior year and this year with close friends that people who make me feel less than I am just need not to be forgotten but just distanced from me. I know I am worth so much more than I think I am and I just need to stop and take a breather for a second and recognize that.